The biggest feeling I struggle with is envy. I am very envious of one certain thing. I know that I shouldn't be and I know that God has a personal plan for me; I KNOW these things. But some days it is hard to feel them. Yesterday and today are those kind of days. I can write about this so easily, but it is very difficult for me to talk about even though all my close friends know about this. I don't understand what God is doing and the only thing that keeps me going is His hope and promises. But I do have days where I give in to myself and wonder what do I have to do for God to answer my prayer? I think just about every Christian has a time where there is something they want so badly. This thing that they want very well could be God's will. It is not something that goes against what God's Word says and many other believers have been blessed with this same thing you are asking God to accomplish in your life. I have a prayer such as this. I find myself at the top of the rollercoaster awaiting the drop. And I am asking God to remember me and why couldn't this be part of His plan for my life? Why is this part of other's plans. Why not me? Why not now? And I want to get off the ride. I want to get out. I don't want to go up and down anymore. I want to stay flat.
But his Spirit is calling my name. He is telling me to lift my hands up and cry out to Him. He tells me the drop will be more than I can imagine and more than anyone else could accomplish. And I feel Him surround me and there are no butterflies in my stomach. There are no more questions; just pure love that only comes from Christ. And I know I can make it because HE goes before me. He tells me that he remembered Sarah and he remembered Elisabeth. He knew me before creation and He can't wait for me to see all He has planned. So, here goes. I am letting go of the bar.
Please pray for me and my family. Specifically pray for and on Feb. 28th between 10:00 a.m. and 12:00 p.m. At this time my son will be baptized and someone I love will prayerfully be in attendance.
- Shay
- I am married and have three children. We are a military family. I am striving to become closer to my Lord everyday. There are many struggles and many joys. One of my current struggles is keeping my son gluten-free. My other struggle is being the wife and woman God created me to be. However, I count it all joy as James says!! (James 1:2-3) Join me on the road to radical change.
2 comments:
Was your "someone" in attendance this morning? I soooo hope that he was. I love and miss you tons!
Yes!! And they have been thinking of coming more often :-)
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