My Testimony

This is my story. This is where I started and where I gave myself up to Christ. I had a complete family for the first seven years of my life. At that time my mother decided she didn't want to work things out with my father and they divorced. Being so young I don't know everything that happened to cause her to believe she needed to leave. I only know pieces of the story and they have come only from my father. I have never talked to my mother about her decision to leave and the only words she offered were, "It was better for you that I left." Now it is too late for me to get any answers from her. She passed away from colon cancer at the age of 48 in 2006. This is something that I am still going through.

My father took care of me and my brother. He made all the sacrifices and tried to offer us the best life he possibly could. And he did. He is a wonderful father and did more for me than I even needed or wanted. When I was young I was taken to First Baptist Church in Yuma, AZ. My brother occasionally went, but I mostly went alone. I was baptized at about eight years of age and I knew all about God. During those many years at church I met my best friend (definitely chosen by God) MG who was in a similar, but worse, situation as me. She, above anyone, has taught me about true, Godly friendship. I was spoiled, made very good grades, and had so much "potential." I saw my mother occasionally (she lived in the same town), but mostly resented her for her life choices. Her and my brother were very close, but we were very distant. I graduated high school and went to college unprepared. I thought I would be very successful in college, but it was difficult being away from home. I wanted something more and I turned to everything except Christ. I thought the world would fill my emptiness. I was very wrong. I left college and went back home. My father was disappointed with this but allowed me to make my own choices.


At the age of 19 I became pregnant with my first child. The father was not ready for this, but in his own way tried to be there for her. He no longer maintains contact. To say that I never considered abortion would be a lie. Selfishly I dreamed of all the things that I could accomplish if I didn't have a child. The Holy Spirit took over this decision and I physically and mentally could not have an abortion or put my child up for adoption. I am not saying that putting your child up for adoption is wrong, but God had a plan for me and it did not include adoption. God's plan is personal (not the same for everyone). At 20 I had my daughter, worked, and went to college. After that I was still looking for that fulfillment. Since I had a child I thought I should get married. And I did. I met someone and after four months we married. My husband was in the Marine Corps (and still is) and he wanted me and my child. I did not consult God on this. My husband is not a Christian; he claims the Catholic religion. Very soon after marriage we had a child together; our handsome son. We struggled intensely during the first two years of marriage and then I decided to end it. I didn't want to struggle anymore. I wanted peace. Peace comes only from the Prince of Peace. God placed so many people in my life to lead me back to Him. I was at the bottom. I was struggling in every way and I was so alone. I finally gave up trying and chose to let God do the work for me. What a relief! God took what I gave Him and continued His work in me. He clearly spoke to me and told me to be reconciled to my husband. For the first time, I obeyed Him. And He has blessed my marriage immensely. We would not have been able to make it together without God being over our marriage. God has changed me and my husband. He performed a miracle in our marriage. He moved us to NC and gave me wonderful friends and continues HIS work in my family.

Since that time God has awakened me. It has been a struggle because I am still giving in to my sinful nature. Recently He has done great work in me. I have been living my life just like everyone else, yet I call myself a Christian. This is very hypocritical of me. God has revealed to me through everything in my life that He has called me to do good works. He has called me to care for the least. He has called me to go against the world. I am His image bearer and He has called me. Right now I am battling my inclination to be like the world. As I come closer to God, He is showing me what He sees. I continue to be less of me and more of Christ. This is my calling and my desire. "For we brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction."1 Tim. 6:7-9 "However I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." Acts 20:24 "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

God is alive! He is everything and He calls us. Will Christians respond? Consider the cost and urgency of following Christ. Luke 14:25-35, Matthew 9:35-38, Matthew 10:16-42, John 4:1-42.