My Ups and Downs

Blogging can be a difficult thing. I feel I have so much to say, but am unable to articulate my thoughts into typed words on a daily basis. So, here goes. My son's gf diet is going. When I heard about the disease I, of course, researched a ton on the Internet. Most of what I read was about what a miracle the gf diet was for someone or their family member. This has not been the case for us. My son had slowly cut off different foods and now has a very short list of foods he is willing to eat. This makes it very difficult when you add medical limitations to your diet. He has not changed the way he eats. He has always been a grazer and does not eat large amounts at one sitting. He has definitely not gained any weight, either. The only change we have seen so far is that he no longer complains about stomach pain and his bowl movements are much more normal. He also has not vomited for 8 months (I am not counting when actually had a bug, since it was not caused by gluten ingestion). So, I can see that this is an improvement, but we were expecting so much more and are somewhat disheartened that, for us, the miracle we were hoping for will occur at a slow rate. This is a daily battle for me especially, being that I am responsible for all food preparations. I am constantly filled with guilt and worry about whether or not I have contaminated his food. I sometimes am so desperate that I will pray over his food asking God to ensure that it is in fact 100% gf. I have finally accepted the fact that, at least for awhile, he will be a grazer of food. I am so thankful to God that this disease is treated naturally and will cause him no long term damage (as long as he is gf). That is the biggest blessing of all. I am also blessed to have friends who support me and encourage me. My friend R.R. who went so far as to prepare a gf meal for my son so he could spend the night with her son. Also my friend C.D. who is always on the lookout for new gf foods that I can't find where I live. My friend L.C. who found other bloggers going through what I am. And of course, all my other friends who listen to my frustrations and triumphs and offer their prayers of support. I love that God gave us friend relationships!!!

On another note, I wanted to share a praise with all of you. My son had asked Jesus to come into his heart about two months ago. Well, the worrying mom that I am, I prayed for God to show me that His spirit was living in my son. Yesterday, my son was reading his AWANAS book (he needed to memorize some scripture) and he read this verse: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9. Then he tells me that this verse was for him; that God was telling him this. I told him (while saying a thank you to God) that yes, that verse was just for him from God. Amen!!! (Back story: He is scared of the dark and has a difficult time falling asleep alone in his room)

Moments

Today was moving along nicely until about 3:30. That is when my two oldest come off of the bus. Everything suddenly begins to move at high speeds. This evening was spent reading seven books to them and then rushing to make dinner while my baby is crying for me to hold her. Trying to be creative for dinner, I decide to take a normal recipe and not only make it gf, but also change the cooking directions. Hmmm, this sounded great at the time. Well, it was a pretty big flop, but I managed to save some. The plus side of all this was that my son actually requested a second helping, plus desert, plus cereal. He didn't quite finish his second helping or the cereal, but I have no memory of him ever asking for a second helping or for more food after desert. Very big victory! On top of that he tells us that he ate all of his lunch. So we are feeling increasingly grateful for gf foods. Here comes bedtime 30 mins. late and I am ready to go to bed myself, but my oldest wants me to put curlers in her hair for tomorrow. Yesterday I said I would do it today and feeling guilty about my promise, I put curlers in her even though we are way past schedule. And you know, it was completely wonderful and relaxing. I am curling her hair, having mother/daughter talk, and listening to her sing. Listening to your child sing is just amazing and you can't help but have a better day; even at the end of it. God has blessed me with these moments and I know that this is where He wants me.

Gluten!!!

As it turns out, Twizzlers have flour in them. Why didn't I know this???? My gf (gluten-free) son comes off the bus, with Twizzlers in his hand, upset because he didn't get a ring pop. Okay, well you have Twizzlers; just eat the Twizzlers. So, he's fine with those and asks me to check out if the ring pops are gf. I think to myself, maybe I should double check those Twizzlers too. And there you go! (By the way, ring pops are gf.) I thought we had a handle on this, but the thing about gf is that you are not allowed to be lax at all. That part makes me weary. Constantly having to know if a food is gf and, not only that, but also having to know if there is any cross-contamination. Everything must be made separately and before anything else. So, we have separate cabinets, separate shelves in the pantry. All cookware must be washed immaculately and then rinsed prior to use, just in case. This is just the beginning. He has been gf for only one month. Very weary...
That evening he didn't eat dinner, barely ate breakfast, and unfortunately was very gassy.

-A brief description of Celiac Disease: CD is an autoimmune disease where the person cannot eat gluten (which is a protien found in wheat, rye, barley, and sometimes oats). When these foods are consumed the villi (long finger-like appendages off the intestinal wall) are damaged, leaving the person with less surface area for absorbing nutrients. This obviously leads to many other problems such as malnourishment and even cancer. It is really important for someone with CD to stay away from gluten at all costs.